


Aren't Most Wonderful Things A Little Strange?

by TheFightingBull



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Harry Potter - Fandom, MCU, Supernatural, The Force Awakens - Fandom, The Walking Dead
Genre: 5+1 Things, Head Canon Cause It's Fanfic And You Can't Stop Me, Jason Todd With Six Randoms That Do Not Belong In His Fandom, Jason's potty mouth, M/M, Not Beta Read, Rare Pairings, Someone else's potty mouth, Someone stop me, gratuitious swearing, rare pairs, we die like robins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:21:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29104749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFightingBull/pseuds/TheFightingBull
Summary: 5 times Jason is sent on a blind-date by Roy Harper and 1 time Jason managed to snag his own date.Jason dates six total strangers that do not belong in the Batman Fandom.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Jason Todd, Dean Winchester/Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Roy Harper, Draco Malfoy/Jason Todd, Jason Todd/Surprise!, Negan/Jason Todd, Reno/Jason Todd, Roy Harper & Jason Todd, The Following Are All For The Dates But Are Not End Game
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	Aren't Most Wonderful Things A Little Strange?

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea Ellegrine and I came up with together and decided to see where it took us. 
> 
> Hope you all like it.

**The Set Up**

  
  
“You lost!” Roy Harper shouted with glee. “You actually lost!”

Jason Todd ignored his celebrating friend and stared in horror at the cards before him. Losing to Harper was so rare that Jason had made the bet without any thought of losing. It didn’t matter what Roy put up at the time because Jason wouldn’t lose. It was almost statistically impossible. 

“Full house, bitch!” Roy cheered as he jumped up from the small card table and raised his arms in the air. “Suck it, Jason!”

Jason shook his head and studied the two hands. “You cheated,” he accused without any evidence whatsoever.

Roy rolled his eyes but kept his ecstatic grin planted firmly on his lightly freckled face. A face Jason wanted to knock the teeth out of. “You wish, Todd. You fucking wish!”

Jason refused to believe it was possible! He was absolutely _not_ going to let Roy Harper of all people set him up on a bunch of blind dates! It just wasn’t happening. Jason would rather be handcuffed to any one of his brothers again, than have to sit and try to get to know a perfect stranger.

“Don’t you dare try to get out of this either,” Roy warned as he repositioned his baseball cap. “You skip out on a date without at least spending an hour with each of them, you have to add another date.”

Five blind dates. Five absolute strangers. Five hours of pure torture. What exactly had Jason ever done to Roy? Maybe he’d been a little harsh with the name calling in the past? Was it the way Jason had pranked him incessantly when they’d first started working together? Could Roy be holding a grudge against him for hiring a stage magician as the entertainment at his bachelor party?

He’d really like to know.

“Why do you even care if I’m dating, Roy?” Jason asked, because he didn’t believe it had anything to do with _not_ seeking vengeance of some kind.

It was true that Jason didn’t really date much. He never had back when he was alive the first time. Bruce Wayne had been pretty strict about dating as a teen. Watching his younger brothers grow up, Jason found he wholeheartedly agreed with his father’s restrictions and rules.

When he’d been a teen, Jason had a crush or two, but being Robin had been far more important. When he came back to life, it was pretty much the same. Red Hood was needed. Red Hood protected people. If he was out dating, who was out patrolling? Who was knocking off bad guys that Nightwing, Batman, and the Robins weren’t willing, able, or allowed to kill themselves?

Roy looked up at Jason as he plucked the rest of his winnings off the table and placed the bills in his wallet. “Because you’re lonely,” Roy said with genuine concern. “We all see it, and we all know you won’t actually do anything about it.”

Jason watched in stunned silence as Roy finished gathering his shit off the small card table. His best friend approached him with a fading smile. “Jason, I love you, brother. I do but,” Roy paused and frowned. “Ever since Dick and I tied the knot, we’ve seen a change in you.” Jason started to argue, but Roy pointed at him and shook his head. “Don’t even, dude. You’re pissy as all get out, anti-social, and you’ve gotten mean with Tim and Damian again.”

It wasn’t that Roy was wrong. Jason knew he’d been an ass lately, but Roy was exaggerating. He was also wildly out of context. Fighting with his brothers was the norm for Jason.

“It ain’t like that,” Jason argued.

“Well,” Roy shrugged. “It’s like something. You won’t even let Dick and I come to your place _together_ anymore. When you hang with us, it’s just _one_ of us. Like you’re keeping us separate or something. It was fine for a few weeks, but now it’s just getting awkward.”

That was… Okay, that fair. Jason used to invite Roy, Dick, Tim, Damian, and even Wally West or Conner Kent over for big sporting events. They’d have a ‘guys’ night and they’d get loud and pig out on a junk food; usually chili dogs. Those that were old enough drank and those that weren’t took the keys. (Damian was the best at covertly stealing and then hiding everyone’s keys throughout the night)

But then Roy and Dick got married and it felt so… _different._

“Maybe I’m not the one who changed, maybe it’s you two,” Jason frowned, refusing to relent.

Roy snorted. “Please. If that was true, then you’d still have the others over for Fight Nights or whatever. If it were us, we’d be the ones left out.”

“What makes you think you aren’t?” Jason snapped.

“Because we actually keep in touch with people more than you do and they’ve all told us you haven’t been hosting shit since the wedding,” Roy answered.

“Oh.”

With a nod, Roy looked toward Jason’s door awkwardly. “Look, I gotta get home, but you be ready. You’re going on all five dates, Jason. The first one will be this weekend.”

Jason’s heart nearly stopped as he stared at his best friend in shock. He hadn’t actually planned on going through with the dates. If he’d known how serious Roy was, he never would have risked losing a game of poker to Roy.

“Wait, you’ve already got them set up?” Jason growled. “Did you fucking cheat, Roy?”

The red head moved quickly out the door but then poked his head back in and grinned. “If I did, you’ll never be able to prove it.”

* * *

**The First Date...**

Jason Todd sat quietly at the table in a small, but fashionable up-and-coming bistro. It wasn’t exactly the type of place he would have chosen to take someone, but Roy had made it perfectly clear that Jason was to allow the men selected to take him out and not the other way around. Why Roy insisted on it was beyond Jason, unless of course the archer was getting some kind of amusement out of seeing him squirm.

Roy didn’t even bother to deny that he’d have his ways of knowing whether or not Jason bailed too early on a date or if he’d tried to take it over.

At the moment, he was seated across from a man that Jason could admit was pretty close to being his type. The pale man with large brown eyes and long shaggy black hair and a few well-placed moles was not your typical pretty boy. His face wasn’t perfectly symmetrical and he didn’t have any facial hair, but that was due to good grooming practices.

The guy, Ben according to the introduction, certainly wore a lot of black, though. He was quiet, too. Far too quiet for Jason’s taste, but then he supposed it was possible that Ben was just as uncomfortable about the blind date as he was.

“So…” Jason frowned as he watched the man pick at a half-eaten apple and walnut salad. “Not one for talking, eh?”

Shrugging his broad shoulders, Ben moved a bit of salad around the pristine white plate. He looked miserable and that definitely wasn’t doing much for Jason’s esteem. Shit, it wasn’t doing much for Jason’s entertainment either. He’d at least hoped these stupid dates would be a _little_ fun.

For probably the ninth time, Jason watched Ben glance down at his phone.

“Got another date?” Jason asked, not at all expecting an answer.

Good thing, too because once more Ben didn’t answer verbally. Instead he shook his head with a blush. For a brief moment the somewhat handsome man looked up at Jason and opened his mouth like he was going to say something but then he shoved a mouthful of lettuce in his mouth and looked away.

“What think you of books?” Jason asked, using a line from one of his own favorites. If it had been good enough for Mr. Darcy to try to get Elizabeth Bennet’s attention, it was good enough for Jason Todd.

To his surprise, Ben spoke!

“I like sci-fi, I guess.” Ben’s voice was deep enough that Jason had heard the answer despite how softly spoken it had been. “Ender’s Game wasn’t bad.”

Jason sneered in disgust. “I hate sci-fi. So fucking boring, how can you stand it?”

Immediately Jason cringed at his behavior and wished he could take it back, but Ben surprised him once again as his date laughed. Tall, dark, and handsome hadn’t been offended at all.

“Let me guess,” Ben straightened up a bit and tilted his head a touch to the left as he looked Jason in the eyes. He looked prepared to read everything about Jason’s soul right through them. It was a little unnerving. “Classical Romance of the Victorian or Regency era. Specifically, Jane Austen?”

Jason scoffed and leaned back into his own wooden backed chair and shook his head. “Roy told you that,” he accused.

“Nope,” Ben said and shrugged for probably the tenth time in the past twenty damned minutes. “I’m just really, _really_ good at reading people.”

There was absolutely no way Jason was going to believe that Ben had picked up on Jason’s favorite reading materials without help from Roy and Dick. He didn’t even bother to hide his disbelief as he stared at Ben with his right brow raised and a condescending smile plastered across his face.

“Sure. Whatever you say,” Jason snickered. “You just happen to guess my favorite genre, period and author like some kind of damned mind reader?”

Ben offered a crooked smile and leaned forward a little across the table. “Actually, I _happened_ to guess all that based on the fact that you quoted Mr. Darcy from _Pride and Prejudice_. I said I liked sci-fi, Jason, not that I haven’t read any other genre.”

“Alright, Benny Boy, what other kinds of books do you read then?” Jason challenged. Honestly, he hoped this would be an opening to a half-way decent conversation. “Was it for school or your own pleasure?”

Instead of enticing the man to speak up however, Jason realized he’d offended him somehow.

“It’s _Ben_ ,” his date growled, and was it just Jason or had Ben’s glass moved a few centimeters to the left? “Not Benny, not Benjamin, and _not_ Benny Boy.”

Jason raised his hands in a placating manner. “My bad, Ben. Won’t happen again,” he promised.

Unfortunately, Jason knew they’d lost the momentum to speak of books as Ben went back to picking at his salad and staring at his phone. Jason wanted to tease him about eating rabbit food while maintaining what was obviously a powerful physique but that might send Ben into some kind of rage spiral and if Jason didn’t want Roy to disqualify the date, it was best to prevent Ben from running out on him.

Since Ben was rudely watching some kind of clock, Jason checked his own watch. _Ugh._ They had almost forty minutes left! He looked up to catch Ben staring at him again, his dark brown eyes slightly squinted as if concentrating before they widened.

“You like motorcycles, Jason?” Ben asked with a big smile on his face.

“You seriously expect me to believe Roy didn’t feed you that info? Is that why you keep checking your phone?” Jason asked in a teasing tone, but he was dead serious. “He checking up on our date?”

Ben grinned and it was like Jason was suddenly with a different man than the morose, quiet one he’d spent nearly half an hour with. “He’s not texting me, and he didn’t tell me anything about you other than that you’re a bit abrasive and abrupt.”

Abrupt! Abrupt? Really? Roy warned Ben that he was _abrupt?_ Abrasive? Yes. Jason understood that warning, but abrupt? Where the hell had that come from? Jason wasn’t anymore abrupt than any other vigilante out there.

Although… Maybe that was why Roy gave him the warning. If Jason got called away suddenly it would certainly help to have said date aware that he could be abrupt.

“Do you?” Ben asked again.

Jason couldn’t help but nod. “Yeah. Do you?”

Ben’s eyes moved past Jason’s head as he lifted his chin. “My Harley’s right up front.” Jason started to turn to take a look when Ben stood up. “Do you mind if we skip all this?”

“Skip what?” Jason frowned. Was the date over? Was Jason going to fail his first fucking date and have to start all over again?

If Ben bailed early, Jason was going to be pissed. No, not just pissed. Furious. He’d punch Ben in the dick if he forced him to have to go through a date to make up for the failure this one had turned out to be.

Ben pulled out his wallet and pocketed his phone as it started to vibrate. “This,” he said with a little irritation as he gestured to the whole table. “This dinner date, thing,” he clarified. “Watching someone eat for the first time isn’t going to tell us anything about one another. We should do something enjoyable. Let me take you for a ride on my bike.”

Shocked and a little pleased to see Ben show some personality, Jason couldn’t help but agree to the change in plans. He watched Ben drop four or five twenties on the table, enough to cover the bill and provide a decent tip.

Jason hated when people were rude to any kind of staff, but especially wait staff. It was a huge pet peeve of his and had resulted in several aborted dates even when Jason had been a teenager. It was nice to see that Roy hadn’t set him up with a total douchebag.

With a low whistle, Jason approached the bike once they stepped out of the restaurant and smiled appreciatively. The stunning black bike was custom painted with a red gear looking symbol. Jason wasn’t an expert on all things motorcycles, but he knew enough to take care of his own bike and appreciate anyone else’s.

“Here,” Ben offered him a black helmet.

Jason took it and put it on as Ben threw one long leg over the seat. It started with a loud roar that sent shivers down Jason’s spine. He was excited until he realized he wouldn’t be the driver. Never, not once in Jason’s adult life had he ever ridden ‘bitch’ on a motorcycle.

“You getting on?” Ben asked. “Or are you too macho to hang onto me?”

His sexuality, and his confidence in it, thoroughly questioned, Jason hopped on to the back of the bike and did exactly what he’d been dared to do. He wrapped his arms around Ben’s middle and held on to the solid, warm mass in front of him.

Before long, Jason found enjoyment from the ride and he knew Ben had, too. The man’s joy and excitement felt tangible as a strange warmth wrapped around Jason as they raced through the city. Even though Jason had gotten the feeling the man wasn’t from around Gotham, he maneuvered through the busy roads as if he’d been born and bred in the city.

Not once did Ben have to stop for a red light either. If Jason’ didn’t know better he’d have thought his date had some kind of magic power that turned every light they approached green.

“Hey,” a voice in Jason’s helmet sounded in his ear. “I need to make a quick stop and then maybe you and I can go play billiards or something?”

Jason shouted his agreement and frowned. There wasn’t a speaker in his helmet…

They pulled up to one of the larger piers on the harbor and Jason watched as Ben boldly sauntered over to a ship. Power and confidence clung to Jason’s date like a second skin and he couldn’t help but wonder why he’d been so awkward and quiet at the restaurant.

It made a little bit of sense that the man might just have been shy at first. Roy knew Jason too well to hook him up with an introvert incapable of taking a joke or having a little bit of fun. Still, Jason was a Bat. He couldn’t help the suspicion that started worm its way into his brain.

He sat quietly on the bike and watched Ben shake the hand of, and then hug, some scruffy looking old man with salt and pepper hair. Heavy on the salt. But Jason’ wasn’t pleased. He’d caught the exchange of money between the men thanks to his years of being a vigilante.

He had to hand it to Ben and the old dude, though. Most cops might not have picked up on the quick exchange. Someone with a lot more training definitely would, though.

Jason cursed as he gritted his teeth. Roy hadn’t really set him up with a criminal, had he? It wasn’t like his best friend would send him on both a date _and_ case at the time damned time, right?

Right?

“Freeze!” 

Angrily, Jason got off the bike as one of dozens of agents in suits flashed a gun in his face.

“Get on your hands and knees!”

Jason did as he was told but stole a quick look at Ben. His blind date caught Jason’s eye and had the nerve to mouth _sorry_ at him.

“Fucking, Roy.” Jason muttered as he thought about how much shit he was going to be in with Bruce.  
  


* * *

  
  
**A Conversation...**

Richard “Dick” Grayson plopped down on the couch beside his husband and nuzzled into the redhead’s shoulder. He wanted an update on Jason’s incarceration as well as a few answers to some questions, but first he wanted a bit of a snuggle with the man he loved.

“He’s fine,” Roy said preemptively. “They only wanted Ben and have no idea who Jason is or what he’s involved with.”

Dick chortled. “Jaybird’s still not going to forgive you _or_ the blind date.”

Roy frowned and the sight worried Dick. “I didn’t mean to get him arrested. I really thought Ben would be a great match.”

“Why are you doing this again?” Dick asked as gently as he could. He took hold of Roy’s hand and brought it to his lips for a chaste kiss.

Roy was silent for only a moment or two before he sighed and leaned back into the couch. “He’s lonely, Dick,”

“You’ll never get him to admit that.”

Roy shrugged as he stared up at the ceiling. “Doesn’t matter, Babe. I feel like an asshole being happily married while he’s still drifting out in the horrifying world of being single. And in Gotham no less.”

Dick wasn’t pleased to hear that Roy felt guilty about being happy and he didn’t fully understand what the issue was. “He’s tough, Roy. I’m pretty sure he can find his own dates.”

His husband stood from the couch and stared down at him with a look of both shock and censure. “No, he can’t, Dickie!” Roy all but shouted. “Not only is Jason interested in men, a major handicap on its own, but he’s a vigilante to boot! And not just any vigilante, but one that’s actually _died_ and been brought back to life before!

“He’s a rude, foul-mouthed, socially illiterate snob who might enjoy an opera on Monday and attend a fucking WWE Hell In A Cell match on Thursday! He struggles with friendships as it is, but be serious, when has he _ever_ gone on a date to know _how_ to date?

“Dating your brother is an extreme sport, Dick, and knowing Jason as well as we both do, he’ll never try. He didn’t date before he died, why would he now?” Roy continued. “You and I had it easy. We happened to be bi, happened to be into each other and happened to know the life. Jason won’t have that same luxury and I think someday soon he’s gonna resent us for how easy we had it.”

Dick blinked at the information that was thrown haphazardly at him in the form of one of Roy’s patented rants. “Wait, Roy, are you saying that Jason’s _mad_ at us for getting together?”

Without missing beat, Roy nodded. “I don’t think it’s a conscious thought yet, but yeah.”

Biting his lip, Dick thought over the last few months and found that his husband was right. Jason had definitely started to distance himself from not just from Roy and Dick, but from the family, too. He’d stopped pestering Detective Bullock and even Alfred had commented on the fact that Jason seemed to be spending less and less time at the manor.

“How many dates, again?”

Roy frowned. “Well after this last one, he has four more to go.”

“What if he wants a second or third date with any of them?” Dick asked.

“He still has to go on _all_ the dates,” Roy stated firmly. “You know Jason, if he knew he could get out of it, he’d do anything.”

“Including date a guy who got him arrested,” Dick rolled his eyes. “I hope you’ve picked some decent guys, Roy. I mean, if all these dates end in disaster he’ll come out of it hating the idea of dating anyone. He might even hate you for ruining it.”

“I know,” Roy frowned. “Trust me, I picked only the best of the best.”

* * *

  
**The Second Date**  
  


“What do you mean that’s not your real name?” Jason glared at his date. “What should I call you and why can’t you tell me your real name?”

The man with a shock of red hair that was held back in a lose ponytail looked far to aloof in the moment for Jason’s sanity. Yeah, the guy was attractive, but Jason wasn’t at all impressed by the five foot seven, bucky fifty man who had either purposely or accidentally ignored Jason for the past fifteen minutes.

“That _is_ what you can call me, yo,” _Sinclair_ insisted with a look of annoyance.

“If that’s really your name, then why didn’t you answer me when I called for you eight fucking times during the last round?” Jason countered as his grip on the paintball gun tightened.

Sinclair’s black, almost Vulcan-like brows rose in alarm. “You did?”

“Yeah, jack-ass, I did,” he snapped. “Look dude, I don’t care who you are or what you do or how you know Roy, but I think this date is over.”

“Whoa, whoa, you got an hour anyhow, why not finish the game. Brush up on your skills. We have four more rounds bought and paid for,” Sinclair said.

Jason couldn’t deny it was more than reasonable, but he was also insulted. He didn’t want to be dating either, but unlike Sinclair, Jason didn’t have a choice in the matter. He’d lost a bet and he had no choice but to attend them all or listen to Roy and Dick nag at him for the rest of his twenties.

He closed his eyes in frustration and tried to think about whether or not he could really go through with finishing up the date.

“Hey, Jason,” Sinclair started as Jason opened his eyes to give him his attention. “Look, the truth is, I owe Harper a favor and he was convinced we’d get on, yo. The problem is, I’m a workaholic and if you’re anything like Harper, you probably are, too.”

There was no denying that. Still, it didn’t exactly make Jason feel good to know the guy had been coerced into dating him. But then, all the guys Jason had and would be set up with were in the same position. Maybe they’d be just as insulted to find out he’d only be going with them because he lost a bet.

“So why agree to it?” Jason asked.

“Honestly, I wasn’t gonna until he sent me a picture of you,” Sinclair grinned, his vulpine features sharp and playful. “Figured I had a few days of PTO, might as well spend an hour or two checking out your fine ass while legally shooting innocent civilians.”

At first Jason only blushed at Sinclair’s words. It was nice being noticed like that. Even if it wasn’t going to work out with Sinclair, Jason couldn’t deny the man had a point.

“Fine, but what do you want me to call you while taking out these little shits?” Jason asked.

Sinclair put a half-fingered glove to his chin as he thought about it. “Stick with Sinclair, I’ll just make sure I’m paying more attention, yo.”

“Yeah right,” Jason muttered as he followed his date back onto the battlefield.

* * *

  
**Something Of A Reprieve**  
  


With an aggravated hiss, Jason pulled a few small shards of glass from his left forearm. He’d shot out the window, but he still had to use something to break through it and his left arm had been the best plan at the moment. When he landed on the street, however, he’d managed to get several pieces of the glass deeply embedded in his flesh.

Nightwing remained on his perch on the fire escape just a few feet away. “You sure you don’t want any help? We could go back to a safe house and get it thoroughly cleaned up.”

Jason gritted his teeth through the pain as he pulled a few more pieces out. “Nah, man, I’m too tired. I just want to get cleaned up, go home, and crash.”

Silence filled the air between them, and Jason knew it wouldn’t last. It wasn’t possible for Dick Grayson or Nightwing to keep their traps shut for longer than two minutes. Dickie just _had_ to be talking, humming, making noises, or even singing to himself.

“How are the dates going?”

Jason snorted. “You sure you want to know?”

“They can’t be _that_ bad, can they?”

“The first guy was a smuggler, Blue-bird. I was arrested with him and his dad!” Jason winced as he pulled out another piece of window. “The last one? I’m pretty sure that guy was some kind of assassin or eraser or some shit. He gave me a fake name, forgot what name he gave me, and then didn’t even answer to it!”

He looked up just in time to see Dick grimace and flinch at Jason’s words. “Do you… Do you want me to get you out of these dates?”

With a laugh Jason shook his head. “Honestly, both dates _were_ kind of fun,” he bit at his lip and then pointed at Dick. “Do _not_ tell him I said that.”

Nightwing quickly nodded. “Of course.”

Once again silence descended on them, but Jason was done pulling glass from his arm. He could end the conversation and go home like he so desperately wanted to, or he could make sure Dick was alright.

“I’m uh,” Jason stuttered. “I’m okay. You _know_ that right? I mean… I’m good. I’m not like sad or anything.”

Dick frowned and then crossed his arms. He always did that when he was upset but felt bad or self-conscious for being so. “Hood, we’re not blind. You may not be depressed, but you’re not happy either. We just—”

“Want to help,” Jason finished and knew he’d failed to hide the bitterness in his tone. “I get it, okay? I’m letting him set me up, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, but what good will that do if you go into every date prepared to hate them?” 

“Hey, you were the one just now offering to get Roy to back off,” Jason growled, his own defensiveness triggered by Dick’s. “I told you I was fine, I told you I was having fun even though I’m begin set up with assholes and criminals.”

“You’re right,” Dick offered before Jason stormed off. “It’s just that, while part of me is really happy that you’re dating, I don’t want Roy pushing you into anything, either. I don’t want you to be forced to date people, because if that’s how it is, you’re going to come out of this hating the entire experience.”

Jason laughed bitterly. “Are you scared I’ll be single forever?”

“No!” Dick gasped.

“If you are, it’s because you know there’s a chance it’s true.”

“Don’t do that,” Dick said softly. “Don’t put words in my mouth, Hood. Especially, don’t put your insecurities in my mouth because that’s on you. Those are _your_ words, not mine.”

Jason felt trapped and uncomfortable as it was. With the exhaustion settling into his bones, it just made it all the worse. “I’m sorry, you don’t deserve my mood swings,” he said, not just to end the conversation but partially because it was true. “I know you’re both trying to help, but I’m tired. I just wanna go home, okay?”

Nightwing nodded. “I won’t call off the dates, but I will ask that he hold off on the next one for a few days. Just to give you some rest, okay?”

He nodded and smiled up at his big brother. “That would be just fine, actually.”

“Good. Now go get some rest, Little Wing.”

* * *

  
**The Third Date**

Jason scowled as he saw the black Chevy Impala he’d been told to look for upon arrival. What the fuck kind of date was set up in a damned cemetery? Roy had better hope Jason didn’t see him in the next few days or they were going to play a very bloody game of Did-You-Really-Think-That-Was-Funny. Roy _never_ won that game.

He moved passed a few of the larger monuments and stopped as he came upon a man with dark, dirty blonde hair that was cropped short around the temples but a little spiky on the top. He wore a pair of jeans and like three layers of shirts.

“Can I help you?” the man asked with a gruff voice.

Jason didn’t mind the man’s physique, but he really wasn’t a fan of blonds. He preferred tall, dark, and handsome. Maybe that was another reason the assassin hadn’t been all that good a partner for him. Jason would have had to take care of the little sleaze and it didn’t really seem like being taken care of had been in Sinclair’s nature.

“Just meeting up with someone,” Jason shrugged his shoulder. There was still a chance this guy wasn’t the right guy.

“You’re Jacy?” the man asked in alarm.

“The _fuck_ did you call me?” Jason sneered. “The last time someone called me that I shoved an arrow up his ass.”

Roy. It was Roy who’d dared to call Jason such a babyish variation of his name. And yeah, he’d gotten hold of his best friend’s quiver, grabbed the sharpest looking arrow and stabbed the idiot right in his left ass-cheek.

The man raised his hands in surrender and shook his head. “My bad, I just… Roy made you sound like a…”

Jason just knew he wasn’t going to like what the date had to say, and since said date didn’t finish his sentence, it must have been pretty obvious.

“So help me, dude, if you were going to say that he made me sound like a chick, I’m gonna break his fucking jaw!”

The guy didn’t even bother to defend Roy which meant it must have been the case. Jason tightened his fists, feeling thoroughly humiliated and more than a little raw. It was one thing to set Jason up on dates with losers and scumbags, but couldn’t he at least make sure they were into guys first?!

“I’m assuming it’s Jason,” the man who looked only a few years older than him tried.

“Good assumption,” Jason answered, trying to reign in his temper.

“I’m sorry Roy set us up, I thought he knew I was straight, but uh, I’m not… you know,” the guy started to trip over his tongue.

“Gay? Yeah, I got that,” Jason rolled his eyes.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay,” he added quickly as if worried he’d offended.

“Sure there’s not,” Jason smirked.

Really, he wanted to know what the hell Roy had been thinking when he set the date up. If it was meant to be a prank, Jason had yet to find the humor in the situation.

“Look, all I know is that I was told I was meeting up with a hottie that had black hair and blue eyes. That you’d dig the strange and the unusual. Someone who was in the know,” the man explained. “Honestly, Roy didn’t specify you were a chick or a dude, and I may have just assumed, you know?”

Jason laughed because the dude sounded awkward and annoyed and in a weird way it was kind of charming. It was also more than a little admirable that the man was protecting Roy and thinking the sbt of him. Jason of course knew better. If he’d told the man his name was Jacy, it was because he’d wanted Jason to be thought of as a woman.

He approached and offered a hand, “I’m Jason and you are?”

The man shook his hand in a firm grip, “Would you believe Dave Mustaine?”

“As in the lead guitarist and vocalist for Megadeth, a band of which I own practically every album they put out?” Jason snorted. “Not on your life.”

_Dave_ grinned at Jason, a flicker of something close to pride shining in his eyes. “Favorite song?”

“Angry again,” Jason shrugged. “Second favorite is A Tout Le Monde, you?”

Jason watched to see if any recognition of the songs flashed in his eyes. When Dave’s eyes softened and his lips fell, he knew he’d said too much. But at least the guy was actually a fan and wasn’t lying.

“Wow, that probably tells me more about you than you’d like me to know,” Dave acknowledged as he shoved his hands in his pockets with obvious discomfort.

“It’s not a suicide song,” Jason rolled his eyes.

“No, that’s true,” Dave nodded. “But it’s a song about saying goodbye.”

“Everyone has to say goodbye, its best if our loved ones know how we felt first.”

Jason watched as Dave nodded and looked up at the sky, almost like he was feeling a little too much. It was a method Jason used a few times to hide his own itching eyes.

“Look, Roy obviously screwed the pooch on this one,” Dave said his voice a touch gruffer than it had been. “We don’t need to exchange our real names or anything, I’ll just get out of your hair.”

It was Jason’s turn to become alarmed as he reached forward and grabbed Dave’s arm. “Hold it, Dave,” he said. “If I don’t finish this date, I get stuck going out with someone else and after Roy hooked me up with a straight guy, I’m terrified of who he’ll come up with instead.”

Dave scrunched his face up in confusion but then grinned. “Lost a bet?”

“As a matter of fact,” Jason pouted as he released Dave’s arm.

“Yeah,” Dave chuckled. “Been there, done that. I _hate_ playing cards with that asshole.”

“I’ve never lost to him before,” Jason grumbled. “At least, not on such a grand scale. Roy almost never wins.”

Amusement glittered in Dave’s light, hazel eyes. “Maybe he’s just been bluffing you all this time and waiting for the really big bets.”

Truth be told, that wouldn’t have surprised Jason in the slightest. Roy was far cleverer than anyone gave him credit for. He’d accused Roy of cheating to win the bet, but maybe Dave was right. Maybe Roy lost so many hands in the past because he didn’t want Dick, Jason, Wally, or Conner knowing that he was much better at the game.

His wins always appeared more miraculous and surprising; and because of how _rarely_ he won, it was never suspicious.

“Alright, say I stick around for this date,” Dave spoke up. “I don’t have to kiss you or anything, right?”

Jason rolled his eyes at the asinine question. “Do I look like the type of guy who’d kiss on a first date?”

Dave stared for only a brief a moment before shrugging his shoulders and nodding his head. “Well, yeah, you do.”

Jason wasn’t sure why, but the answer bothered him. Maybe it was because Jason had never really dated before to know if he was the type to do so. Maybe it was because he’d absolutely been too drunk to recall his first time properly. He and Roy had decided to give it a shot, just so Jason could say he wasn’t a virgin. Being friends, Jason decided it would be too awkward and Roy, genius that he was, suggested drinking to lubricate the situation.

He shook off the thought and then looked back to Dave. “Dude, you gonna help me out or not?”

Once more Dave looked Jason over, but this time he got the impression he was being measured. Jason knew the wiry, athletic man probably thought he could take Jason in a fight, but he’d be wrong. Dave didn’t stand a chance against him and it was good that Dave was weighing the consequences of saying no, because Jason would absolutely abduct the asshole for the next hour if it were necessary.

“Yeah, okay, I guess I can chill with you for an hour.” Dave decided.

“Great, so why are we meeting in a cemetery?” Jason asked. “Bit morbid for a first date, don’t ya think?”

“No offense or nothing, but I don’t really tell people what I do for a living,” Dave shrugged. “They don’t tend to believe me.”

Jason laughed. “Well, when you run around stealing the names of rock stars, are you really surprised?”

“Most people aren’t rock aficionados,” Dave shrugged but there was a hint of a smile that told him they both knew who’d won the point.

Jason crossed his arms, more out of boredom than anything else. “So, if I’d been a chick?”

Dave looked back at his car and then toward a couple of the headstones as if realizing for the first time he’d set up a date in the middle of a cemetery. His brow creased and Jason knew he was trying to come up with a lie. To be honest, Jason was thrilled to discover what line of crap would come from his pretty lips.

“You know, some chicks, they dig cemeteries,” Dave tried awkwardly and without even an ounce of confidence.

“You’re so full of shit,” Jason laughed.

Dave smiled back as he rubbed at his neck. “Honestly, Roy told me I’d be hunting some ghost and that you, ‘Jacy’ were gonna help me out.”

“You’re a ghosthunter?” Jason frowned wondering if Dave was one of those idiots who had a podcast and tried to convince everyone that light reflecting off of bits of dust were “orbs”.

He hoped that wasn’t the case. Jason despised conmen who preyed on grieving folks that were just desperate to prove that some kind of afterlife existed.

“Better than a grave robber, right?”

“Considering it’s like four in the afternoon, yeah,” Jason retorted. “I’d say so.”

Dave motioned for Jason to follow, so he did. They made their way down a small incline, both moving carefully between the rows of headstones. Jason couldn’t help but wonder not only why Roy was setting him up with such strange people, but how Roy had known them all in the first place. A smuggler, an assassin, and now a scam artist?

Unless… Unless Dave was actually a _hunter_.

Constantine was something of a hunter too, wasn’t he?

Jason frowned after a moment. If Dave was a _supernatural_ hunter… Oh Roy. Jason needed to call his brother and warn him that he’d be widower soon. Having died himself, Jason wondered if Roy thought it was tongue in cheek to send him on a fucking ghost hunt to send some unsettled spirit into the next life. 

“It’s as if he thinks my entire existence is a damned joke,” Jason scowled.

“What was that?” Dave asked he turned to look back at him.

Jason waved it off. “Just wondering if there’s some kind of convention out there where I could have found the group of men Roy’s been trying to hook me up with.”

“Oh?” Dave asked and looked mildly interested as they approached the very car Jason had admired when he arrived at the cemetery. “What kind of guys? If you don’t mind my asking?”

“Sci-fi nerd and a smuggler, then there’s you, the ghost hunting heavy metal dude, and then some paintball loving g-man,” Jason shrugged.

Dave popped his trunk open and looked back at him. “Roy and I met during a poker tournament if it makes you feel any better.”

“How long ago?” Jason asked, fearing the answer would be a few days ago.

“Four, maybe five years ago,” the blond answered and once again waved Jason closer to him.

When he stepped forward and looked into the trunk, his eyes widened in appreciation. The guns, the knives, the explosives! It was like a little candy stall set up just for him. He didn’t reach forward to touch, no matter how badly he wanted to. There was some sick shit in the trunk of the Impala and as envious as Jason was, he knew it was bad form to touch another man’s weapons.

“Fucking nice,” Jason enthused.

“Yeah, Baby is always read for me,” Dave agreed proudly. “Alright, first thing to know about ghost hunting is that iron and salt are the most effective weapons against them.”

Jason smiled and listened attentively to everything Dave had to say about ghost hunting. Not only did he feel a lot better knowing the man wasn’t making fun or trying to harm grieving widows and the like, but he was genuinely interested. He didn’t mind the occasional side tracking because Jason had always been a very astute student and absorbed information like a sponge.

It didn’t matter that the guy wasn’t gay either. As Jason let Dave talk, he started to realize that maybe Roy hadn’t meant to set them up as a couple, but rather just to introduce them. Dave seemed like a pretty chill guy and Jason could safely say he wouldn’t mind being friends.

Maybe if the hunt well, he would invite Dave to a poker night with the boys. Hell, maybe the asshole would tell Jason his _real_ name, too.  
  


* * *

  
**A Strange Delay**  
  


Jason glanced at his watch as he stood in line at some coffee house or another. You’d think so many people lined up in one place would make for the perfect target of a super villain, but not in Gotham. His people, be they civilian or otherwise, were mean, impatient, and ornery on the best of days. You catch a Gothamite without their coffee while trying out your nefarious plan?

Good fucking luck!

You’d sooner convince Batman to kill a man than get a decaffeinated Gothamite to do as you ordered. He knew, he’d _tried_ it before and it just wasn’t worth the headache.

He daydreamed as he waited in line with about twenty some odd people about that day. It was back when he was trying to the whole underground crime lord. He’d “kidnapped” the son the mayor in an effort to protect him from son mobsters that were going to try to ransom him for real…

Really, Jason should have allowed the mobsters to grab the stubborn, irritable little prick.

“Excuse me. Pardon me. I’m a doctor, please move aside,” Jason was pulled from his reverie by the sound of a deep voiced man walking through the crowd. The man shoved his way up to the front of the line and finally got to Jason who was next and said. “Excuse me, but I’m a doctor and this is an emergency.”

Jason glared hatefully at the older man but stepped aside, much to his own shock. He didn’t let people cut in front of him! And there was absolutely no chance at all that their was an emergency. Jason had seen movies before. He knew a schemer when he saw them.

“Yes, thank you. I’d like a double mocha espresso to go,” the doctor said impatiently and tossing a twenty at the barista. “Keep the change.”

“Hey shithead! You don’t get to claim an emergency to cut in line,” Jason snarled.

The man rounded on him and Jason was just happy he was too pissed off to blush because physically the doctor was his type.

“For you information it is in fact an emergency as I was just standing in an operating room for the past twelve hours saving a little girl from paralysis and am needed in New York for yet another operation where I will prevent a violinist from losing the use of his hands,” the man replied smugly.

Before Jason could retort or cuss him out any further, Dr. Asshole left with his order. 

* * *

**The Fourth and Fifth Dates**

“Allow me to be perfectly honest with you,” Drake(?) stated with a barely restrained disgust. “You are beneath me. Most of the people who sleep on the street are likely to be your social betters and stand a better chance at pleasing me.”

Jason wanted to prove the prissy, uptight blond-haired, blue-eyed shithead wrong. He wanted to show off his knowledge of operas, composers, writers, and scholars. Some stinging part of Jason wanted his most recent date to know damned well that Jason was just as polished and educated as Drake himself was.

But he wouldn’t give the prick the satisfaction.

Fact of the matter was, Drake (or whatever his real name was, honestly Jason couldn’t remember. All he knew was that he’d been purposely calling him Drake the entire evening to get a rise out of him.) wasn’t at all his type. Not only was the man too skinny and too light in coloring, but he was the worst type of snob.

Drake was _old_ money.

While Jason did in fact have the ability to blend in well with the most well-bred of society, it wasn’t something he liked doing all the time. Yeah, Jason liked the opera, but he _loved_ American football. And sure, he could pick out and pair a decent wine for most dinners, but he _preferred_ beer. The cheap kind that promoted their product during the Super Bowl with a bunch of scantily clad people just having a good time.

Despite how rude Drake was being, Jason was relieved that the man didn’t like him.

Drake wasn’t a terrible guy, but he had a sneer that would make Elvis or Billy Idol jealous. Two references that the elitist didn’t get in the slightest. He’d stared at Jason first in confusion, then in horror at being compared to people so “ridiculously and humiliatingly lowbrow”.

After the first three dates Roy had set Jason up with, he’d started to worry that he was too much of a snob. Jason really did like plays, operas, art museums and live readings of the classics. He enjoyed being pampered on occasion, too.

Drake had dispelled all those concerns though. Jason might enjoy some of the things that came with being Bruce Wayne’s son, but not enough to put with the mannerless, despicable likes of… Drago?

“You didn’t exactly raise my interest either, if you catch my drift,” Jason said as he obscenely grabbed at his crotch.

“You vulgar, plebeian, uncouth….” Drake stormed away as he continued to mutter insults without even bothering to say goodbye.

Jason didn’t stop him. He’d spent more than enough time with date number four and was relieved to know he only had one more left. He just needed to get his butt home, changed out of his suit, and then blast some rock music to get the awful soprano’s rendition of Ave Maria out of his head. That the restaurant had actually paid someone to butcher such a beautiful song was beyond Jason.

As he walked down the street his phone rang.

“What do you want, Roy?” He asked angrily.

“Draco called me, told me you were the most disgusting, obnoxious person he’d ever had the displeasure of meeting,” Roy answered calmly.

“Why’d you set me up with that asshat? How do _you_ even know him?”

“My name may not have changed, but I was a Queen just like you’re a Wayne. Old money knows old money,” Roy explained. “Honestly, the guy needed a break and I thought maybe you’d be what he needed to loosen up a little.”

Jason snorted.

“Come on, Jase,” Roy pouted. “I know you feel like you can’t really enjoy the finer things in life since we’re all a bunch of ‘frat boy losers’.”

That made Jason laugh. He couldn’t count how many times he and Roy in particular had been called some variation of the insult over the years. He kept walking down the street toward his apartment as he allowed himself to enjoy a few of the memories.

“I’m sorry, though,” Roy said. “I really thought he’d give you the chance to enjoy all the snooty shit you like so much.”

Jason nodded, even if Roy couldn’t see. “Thanks man, I appreciate it.”

“Look, I know tonight didn’t go well and to be honest I sort of planned for it when I got to thinking about what a prick he can be,” Roy started and Jason felt his stomach turn at the implication of what had to be coming next. “I set up your last date to meet you at your favorite bar.”

Jason stopped in his tracks and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. “You didn’t.”

“I did,” Roy said. “But seriously, at least this way you’re done after tonight.”

Jason sighed heavily. “True. But, just…” He looked down at his suit. Yeah, he still needed to change. “Tell him I’ll be there in an hour.”

“Cool and don’t worry about finding him, he’ll find you.” Roy promised before he hung up.

After changing and getting comfortable for the night, meaning he was wearing a pair of his favorite dark wash jeans, black SWAT style combat boots, the most awesome Metallica t-shirt he had in his collection and his brown leather jacket, Jason entered his favorite hole in the wall bar.

Whiskey Business wasn’t ridiculously busy most nights, but it did well enough to provide the owner a comfortable profit. It also catered to a more laid back, casual group of drinkers. They had their fair share of fights like any other bar did, but Jason didn’t mind. In a strange way the bar felt more like home than most of his safehouses scattered about the city.

“Hey boss,” Sean, his bartender, called as Jason walked in. “What can I get you?”

“Bud Light,” Jason answered. He smiled as he was handed the bottle. “Ooh look at that! We’ve got the nice aluminum bottles! How fancy is that?”

Sean laughed. “Figured it wouldn’t be as enticing for the customers to hit each other over the head with.”

Jason drank from the beer happily and then raised it toward his employee. “Very insightful, Sean. That’s what I’m paying you for.”

He wandered toward the end of the bar in the corner, partly because it was his favorite spot but mostly because he was hoping the blind date _wouldn’t_ be able to find him. Yeah, he’d probably have to meet the guy later, but Jason just wasn’t sure he was up for a double header of disappointment.

“Excuse me,” a deep, jovial voice called. “But I just feel like it’s important that I let you know what a fine piece of ass you are.”

“ _What did you call me_?” Jason growled as he turned fully to give the man his undivided attention.

Unfortunately, even with as muscular and powerful as Jason knew he was, the man wasn’t the slightest bit intimidated. The man standing before him had black hair and dark hazel eyes. He wore a black leather jacket with a red bandana wrapped around his neck. For some odd reason he also wore a single driving glove on his right hand.

“Hey now, don’t go getting your panties in a twist, sweetheart,” the older man chuckled. “I’m just making sure you know I’m admiring the view.”

“And what the fuck would I care if you are?” Jason snapped as he leaned back in his stool, hoping the incredulity and disgust so plainly written across his face would give the guy a hint to back the fuck off.

Positive that he’d made his point with his scathing rebuke, Jason was flabbergasted when instead of anger or, God forbid shame, the man smiled and his expression hardened to that of a man who’d been challenged, rather than admonished.

“Easy there, darlin’,” he continued with a bold, white smile and leering eyes. “I’m not trying to pee-pee in your cheerios, here. Just givin’ you a damned compliment.”

Jason wanted so badly to knock his bottle upside the man’s head, but it was aluminum and mostly empty so it wouldn’t do much good. He’d need to decide whether Sean deserved a dock in pay or a raise, since the man’s plan had worked far too well for Jason’s liking. He settled for scowling at the stranger instead of violence.

“Look,” Jason said as calmly as he could. “I’m waiting for someone.”

As he looked to the man’s eyes, Jason was mortified to find himself hoping the man remained. He couldn’t deny that physically the douchebag was absolutely Jason’s type, sure. But more than that, Jason _loved_ a good fight. He loved a good argument, too, and he especially loved the idea of a partner who would actually stand toe to toe with him.

Talk about a one-eighty though.

Jason had gone from the world’s most stuck-up man to the world’s most crude within an hour.

“Baby, I’ve been waiting for _you_ all my life.”

Before Jason had a moment to respond he laughed at the atrociously obvious flirting. He wouldn’t be at all surprised if he was blushing either. Jason tended to blush when men caught him off guard. Could this be the guy? Roy _had_ told him his date would find him.

“Ditch your date, darlin’. Let me show you how someone as fine as you should be treated.”

Jason raised a brow at him and took a pull of his beer. “Look, I know you _think_ you’re smooth,” he looked him up and down for effect. “but you aren’t _that_ smooth.”

“Only way to find out how smooth I am is to come feel for yourself,” the man grinned and wagged his eyebrows at him. “But you’re probably right. I’m very coarse and rigid. Like an oak.”

He laughed at the innuendo in spite of himself. Mostly he was reminded of his own vulgar joke with the blond Drake-O(?). He grabbed a pack of smokes from his pocket and pulled one out. He started to search for a lighter but found a black zippo lit up for him from the man.

“Tell me your name, gorgeous,” he ordered, and Jason knew for a fact that’s how it was meant to come off, too.

A command.

He wanted to roll his eyes, but Jason hadn’t been flirted with that aggressively in a _long_ time. If ever. One thing had been made clear over the past four dates Roy had set him up on. None of them had seemed really interested in him. Not like the man before him.

“Jason,” he answered after he took a drag from his cigarette. “What’s yours?”

The man licked his lips and then offered a wide, Cheshire Cat-like grin. Amazingly it didn’t creep him out or even remind him of a certain clown that wouldn’t be named. “You can call me Boss, or Sir.”

Jason curled his lip at the thought. “In your wildest dreams.”

He blew smoke at the man, just to see if he could antagonize him into a fight. There was something a little thrilling about the man and Jason got the feeling he’d hold his own just fine. Well, with someone like Dave Mustaine or maybe even Sinclair, but not with the likes of Jason.

Jason was _other_. He’d broken Power Girl’s grip on him more than once, a feat not even Bruce had accomplished.

“Hot damn,” the man grinned at him. “Bet you’re a tiger in the sack, aren’t ya.” Jason stood his ground, probably because he liked how foul mouthed the man was. “Oh yeah, I can’t see it now. You’d ride me like a _buckin’_ cowboy at his first fucking rodeo.”

“Can you even last eight seconds, old man?” Jason asked archly.

Sure that he’d be insulted, Jason was almost relieved when the man only widened his grin and gave Jason yet another once over. “Shit, kid. I was about to ask you the same damned thing.”

Jason made a show of looking the stranger over and wasn’t really surprised when the charmer stepped back from the bar and allowed him a proper look. He even flourished his hand, gesturing from his head to his toes. All the while he leered like a shark who’d just caught the sight of a seal floundering in the water.

“You clean?” Jason asked after he took another drag.

“Baby, even if I wasn’t, which I sure as fuck am, I’m _always_ prepared for a little freaky-deaky.” The man pulled out a handful of condoms.

Stubbing out his cigarette, Jason stared at everything on offer for the night, including the condoms and frowned. _For the night_. It didn’t appeal to Jason.

Okay, well, it sort of did.

It appealed to the lusty twenty-something year old he was. But it didn’t appeal to the man who’d just watched his brother marry a man that completed him. Roy and Dick were happy because they were friends first. They were happy because they’d known one another and they’d built trust between them and they weren’t lonely anymore because they stopped taking home whoever was easiest or in Roy’s case, willing.

Ha!

The man must have seen or sensed the directional change in Jason’s thoughts as his grin dropped. “Something wrong, honey?”

He nodded and got up off the barstool. “I appreciate the offer, but honestly, I’m not interested in just fucking around.”

“You’re shitting me,” the man smiled as if waiting for Jason to announce he was just kidding. “You’re what, barely old enough to drink in a bar and you’re telling me you’re not interested in some fast and loose, care-free, no fucking strings attached, rough and wild sex?”

Once again Jason laughed at the man’s audacity. It added to the charm, sure. But it wouldn’t change his mind. He shook his head again. “Gonna have to pass.”

“Rain check?” The man offered, but Jason saw the return of a teasing smile and knew it was likely to save face.

“Probably not, but if it will help your bruised ego, sure.”

The guy bit on his tongue but still didn’t drop his smile. “Hey, I get it. I do,” he started to saunter backward a step or two. “I’m an intimidating man. I’m a lot to take, if you catch my fucking drift.” He winked at Jason as he took yet another step back.

“Good luck finding someone brave and hardy enough to handle you,” Jason teased.

“Well, all right then,” the man winked at him. “You ever grow a hefty enough sack to give it a try yourself, you look me up in Virginia.”

“Will do,” Jason raised his beer at the man as he finally gave Jason his back and walked out of the bar.

* * *

  
**Defeat**  
  


Jason, Roy and Dick were sitting in front of a television. Jason was leaned back in the recliner while the married couple were snuggling on the couch. Jason didn’t even know what was on, but that was because he was uncomfortable. It wasn’t like he was in love with either of the men, he just didn’t really want to hang around married couples.

They were annoying.

“So now what?” Jason asked. “You gonna fuck me over on another card game to get me to go out five more times?”

Dick nuzzled his face into Roy’s neck and muttered something that Jason couldn’t quite make out. He was about to ask him to speak up when Roy shrugged. “I think he does.”

“Does what?” Jason asked, starting to get annoyed at being ignored while they kept whispering.

“Dick thinks you _want_ me to set you up on more dates.”

Jason’s jaw dropped. “Are you fucking kidding me? After the last five disastrous dates you sent me on? Are you out of your fucking mind, Roy?”

They both stared at him, unphased by his anger.

“What happened?” Dick asked as casually as he could. It didn’t prevent him from betraying a touch of the curiosity Jason knew his brother had felt from the beginning of the whole drama.

“What happened?” Jason repeated. “I’ll tell you what happened. Ben was a fucking criminal who wasn’t very interested in me at all. Sinclair was some kind of government assassin I swear,” he ignored Dick’s eyeroll and continued. “Then there was ‘Dave’ the straight fucking Hunter who thought I was going to be a chick! Then the green and black tux wearing blond who only looked at people to criticize followed by the mouth breathing lunatic with a mouth worse than mine!”

Dick stared skeptically for a moment. “Really? Worse than yours?”

“Yes, really,” Roy and Jason said at the same time.

“How do you know these guys?” Jason demanded.

Roy shrugged. “Well, I mean, I met Ben when I needed to ship myself a few weapons for the mission out in Australia. You can’t exactly get the shit I pack through customs, Jason.”

“And?” Dick asked before Jason could.

“Oh, umm, Sinclair? I met him and some of his co-workers at the paintball range when I was getting some practice in. We started meeting up for field exercises after that and we’ve been friends since,” Roy answered.

“Well, I know how you met ‘Dave’ and Drake,” Jason said. “So how about the last guy, the one that refused to even give me his name!”

“He’s Dean’s uncle,” Roy shrugged.

“You’re shitting me?”

Roy shook his head. “Dude’s a nasty piece of work, though.”

“Sounds like he’s too old for Jason,” Dick frowned as he took on the role of big brother.

“Jason likes them a little older,” Roy shrugged.

“What the Hell makes you think that?” Jason asked. He knew he’d never said anything of the sort before.

Roy shook his head as he sat forward on the couch, detaching himself from Dick as he did so. “Jason, are you aware of how into you the guys I set you up with were?”

“No they weren’t,” Jason denied.

“Ben told me straight up that you were so attractive he didn’t know how to really speak to you at first and figured he’d blown it,” Roy ticked off. “Reno was into you until he realized that you weren’t into him and then figured he’d make the best of it. Said your eye wandered more than his boss’. Dean, okay well. Dean’s straight and I totally misread that one on purpose, but that’s because I thought you guys could be really good friends… And Draco? Well, shit, I showed him a picture of you in your tux and he agreed immediately!”

Jason took in the information and frowned. “But they didn’t seem into me.”

Dick cleared his throat. “I think you just didn’t see it because you didn’t want to.”

“No, Jason,” Roy added after a few seconds of silence. “If you don’t want me to hook you up with anyone else, I won’t. But don’t be afraid to admit it if you do.”

* * *

**A Strange Encounter**

At three in the afternoon, Jason had nothing better to do than browse his local Barnes and Noble for some books. He’d already been browsing for about an hour and had a stack of books in his left arm. There was a new paperback of Jane Eyre since his old one was getting too worn out. He’d also grabbed Ender’s Game after Ben’s recommendation. Then of course he’d grabbed a book on American Hauntings and witchcraft, so he was prepared for his hunt with Dean in a few weeks. Since his uncle Negan would be there, Jason had also grabbed a book on sports legends just to make sure they had something to talk about. There might have also been a how-to-book on making weapons out of almost any piece of office equipment at Reno’s suggestion.

All that remained was to grab a current book on wartime First Response Field Triage. He preferred to stay up to date considering how often he and his brothers had to work on each other after injuries during their patrols.

He balanced the books in his arm as he spotted a copy of Gray’s Anatomy that had a really neat cover. Jason might not ever admit it aloud but he _totally_ judged and purchased books based on their covers. The medical encyclopedia didn’t have any new information than his _other_ two copies at home, but the hard backed, leather bound book gave it a really old, antique look.

“Oh, go ahead and splurge,” a deep, condescending voice taunted. It was vaguely familiar, too. “You clearly don’t have _enough_ to read. Why not add another book to throw on your coffee table. I’m sure that one will impress _all_ of your friends.”

Jason turned his stink eye on the stranger and curled his upper lip, still not recognizing the man but sure he’d seen him before somewhere else. “Excuse the fuck of out of me, but are you _seriously_ judging me for considering a book purchase?”

The man was dressed in a sort of business casual style with black jeans and a dark blue knitted sweater. He had a very angular, but attractive face with strong cheek bones and intensely blue eyes. He was older than Jason with black hair and silver frosted sideburns. There was even a touch of silver in his meticulously groomed goatee.

“Look at your collection of books,” his deep voice laughed mockingly as he gestured at Jason’s burden. “The only two things all of those books have in common is that they are little more than ‘conversation starters’ and you probably won’t ever get around to reading them.”

Jason’s jaw dropped as he struggled to control his temper enough to put the arrogant ass in his place. “Who the fuck asked you?” He all but shouted instead.

The older man blinked at that and appeared, for a brief moment, sheepish. However, as Jason reached forward and added the copy of Gray’s Anatomy to his pile, the arrogance returned.

“You’re going to buy it anyhow?” He asked with exasperation. “What are you; twelve?”

Jason gritted his teeth and turned his attention back to the books as he tried to focus on the book he’d gone to that shelf for. Never had Jason been accosted verbally over book purchases! Who did that? Who _even_ cared? He grabbed this book and rounded on the man, ready to give him a piece of his mind but the rude customer was gone.

He looked up and down the aisle as if he were about to cross a busy street, but the man had vanished. As Jason started to head toward the front of the store to make his purchase, he decided it was probably for the best that he hadn’t actually ripped the man a new asshole. He could have had some kind of autistic disorder or some other social malady that prevented him from speaking whatever came to his mind.

He hoped not to encounter the man as he joined the large line of customers waiting to be checked out and, as luck would have it, did just that. The jerk was standing directly in front of him and worse; he didn’t have a book purchase! In the man’s hand was one of those e-readers that Jason hated.

E-readers didn’t smell like books. They didn’t have texture and he couldn’t grip the e-readers in eager anticipation of what was to come on the next page because rather than turn one; you just fucking swiped left or right! The whole process was too artificial for Jason.

Besides, they didn’t have nifty covers like most of Jason’s books did.

For a moment, Jason thought about being petty and childish and attacking the man for his choice of purchase as had been done to him. But he had to first ask himself if it would do him any good or if it was just an excuse to get the last word. He was supposed to be maturing, after all.

And then he recalled where he’d seen the man before. The doctor that cut in front of everyone at the coffee house!

Fuck maturity.

“What’s wrong doctor, can’t make out the small fonts in real books and had to go with something adjustable?” Jason asked loudly.

The man turned on him and offered a pinched smile and Jason wondered if he had any recognition of him or if even remembered being an asshole several days earlier. “Not at all. I just don’t feel the need to show off a bogus collection of books to impress frat boys and cheerleaders.”

“Pretty sure you used that insult already,” Jason sneered.

“Then it clearly bears repeating,” the man replied with his forced smile.

“Look dude—”

“You know if you _do_ decide to read one of those books someday, might I suggest finding a reading partner?”

Jason clenched his hands around the armful of books if only to prevent himself from physically attacking the doctor. If he’d had a free hand available, there was no doubt the stranger would have had a face full of Jason’s fist!

“I can help whoever is next!” A cashier behind the large counter called.

The man pulled something out of his pocket and placed it atop Jason’s paperback of Jane Eyre.

“What the hell?”

“My number,” the man responded casually. “For help with the really big words.”

At first Jason couldn’t respond. He was too lost trying to figure out what had just happened. The man didn’t wait for him to catch up either. He’d gone directly to the counter to buy his device while Jason stood staring at nothing like an idiot.

Had… Had that jackass been _flirting_ with him?! He peaked down at the card and read the name Dr. Stephen Strange and a sloppily written set of ten digits.

Huh.


End file.
